COVERGIRL: Is there anything creepier than dead whores dressed up like flappers? Nope. We’re skeeved, Selina’s skeeved. And she doesn’t even see … behind her.
INSIDE STORY: Catwoman busts into the Dollhouse, run by a twister sister named Matilda, confusingly AKA Dollhouse,. (Perhaps my bad guy name should be Blue Colonial Duplex?). Dollhouse is carrying on a family tradition … of kidnapping prostitutes and street kids, harvesting their organs, killing them, stuffing them, and turning them into life-sized dolls. Happy Family, that.
A slew of drugged streetwalkers plus one wide-awake Detective Alvarez greet Catwoman, who immediately comes to blows with Dollhouse. Spark, despite his partnership with Gotham’s crooked cops, alerts Batman. The Dark Knight busts in, saving Alvarez and the drugged prostitutes. Catwoman slips away.
As she enjoy a hot tub fully dressed (an odd artistic choice for creators who seem to love nothing so much as Cat-skin), Catwoman muses on how much she likes Spark. Meanwhile, the Penguin tells Gwen (Catwoman’s fence) that Spark is ratting on Catwoman to Gotham’s crooked cops. Gwen blows Spark away. Before he takes a bullet to the gut, Spark claims he’d never hurt Catwoman.
RAMBLE: Not blown away like Spark is by Gwen, but interested like Catwoman is by Spark.
Right now, Catwoman’s my big question mark. Should she stay or should she go?
Should she stay or should she go, now?
If she stay, there will be cleavage.
If she goes, will there be grievage?
Enough with the prom songery.
In the stay column: the guts-bonkers combo, which leads Selina to rush in like brave fools before her. In the go column: anything solid I can cling to. She’s wishy-washy. Neither villain nor superhero. Neither good nor evil. Kinda wanting friends, kinda not. Kinda loving Batman, kinda not.
The neither-this-nor-that holds huge potential, and I’ve seen glimpses of promise, especially over the last few issues.
Make me stay, #0. I’ll even avert my eyes from your horrific, ridonkulous cover. Make me stay!
Who the Hell are These People?
Catwoman: Selina, a hooker-esque thief with a heart of pawn-shop gold and a weakness for the Batman
The Batman: The Batman
Detective Carlos Alvarez: Good cop amid a dirty slew in the Gotham PD; he knows they're dirty, and he's in the odd position of wanting to stop Catwoman's thieving ways and also to save her from the bad cops. At the start of issue #12, kidnapped by Dollhouse
Dollhouse: Crazy kidnaptress named Matilda. Grabs streetwalkers and street kids off the streets, drugs them, harvests their organs, kills them, and stuffs them. Dollhouse is ew.
Gwen: Catwoman’s fence
Spark: Catwoman’s new thieving partner; he’s working with the dirty Gotham PD to capture Catwoman
What the Hell is Going on?
Catwoman is trying to save a slew of hookers and street kids being kidnapped by a freaky someone who kills them and turns them into corpse-y playthings. She’s also being pursued by a handful of dirty Gotham police officers because she stole their dirty money. Her supposed partner Spark is informing on her to said dirty cops.