The Batmom

Bullets & Pixels

New York Comic Con is in the merch bag. Happily weary and Salem bound, brain not up to the task of spinning a coherent narrative. Instead I shoot bullets.

Pow Chicka Pow Pow.

• Everyone goes to comic con. The stereotypes spoofed on screen attend en masse, and so does your grandma, your babysitter, your dog-sitter, your dentist. All ages, all colors, all walks of life. And yes, people wear some crazy-ass costumes, a number of them scanty.

• Everyone comes off smart: the longtime Wonder Woman reader who patiently placed my concept of Wonder Woman in historical perspective, the 20-something guy who attended any panel that might help him grow as a writer, and the many comic creators (writers, artists, letterers, colorists, editors) who presented at panels.

These creators’ brains are cultural catalogues, and the compendiums astound. Wonder Woman artists Cliff Chiang and Tony Akins discussed character creation during a Friday panel. I jotted down every cultural reference they made. Check it out:

British footballer Wayne "Wazza" Rooney • Bruce Lee • the leviathans portrayed on antique maps • Victorian funereal photography • Hellboy artist Mike Mignola • Palestinian girls’ clothing from the 1920s and ‘30s • Father Christmas • Japanese hipsters • foxes in Dionysian tradition • Jack Kirby’s Orion • 1990s-era Superboy • Italian motocross racers • swimmers • old Thor comics • Through the Looking Glass • Google Maps • Kurosawa

Impressed? I was.

Sean Astin

• Famous people are charming. Or convincingly fake it.

I attended a Q&A with Sean Astin (The Goonies, Rudy, and in LOTR as my favorite Samwise Gamgee). In the manner of a kind and scruffy history professor, Astin spoke lovingly about Tolkein’s language, which first drew him to the LOTR script. He explained how certain words grab him as an actor, then repeated the word “home” several times, and in such a manner that it became a poem. Home. Home. Home.

(Astonishingly and amusingly, he had never heard of Lord of the Rings before getting the script, and in fact had The Hobbit confused with The Phantom Tollbooth. Starring Elijah Wood as a guy who talks to a dog. Or is that Wilfred?)

Nathan Fillion

Other writers and actors charmed and amused me, including Fables creator Bill Willingham and actress Jewel Staite (Firefly, The L.A. Complex), but only one made me swoon: Nathan Fillion (Firefly, Dr. Horrible, Castle). He showed up unannounced during a Firefly event. (If you haven’t seen Firefly, go rent it. Joss Whedon created the show, a sci-fi/Western hybrid bleeding clever and, accordingly, cancelled after one season.)

When Fillion walked in, my friend Rene and I screamed like 1960s teenagers at a Beatles’ concert. Rather, Rene screamed while I, laryngitis-riddled, aped The Scream. I know roguish charm is Fillion’s thing, and to some extent he’s playing a role, but his Firefly co-stars spoke repeatedly of Fillion’s kindness to everyone on-set, from bottom to top.

Fillion also impressed me by answering crowd questions creatively, rather than offering up glazed perfunctory quips; and by playing the kind of clown that everyone loves but no one fears — he’s not going to make the class laugh by poking fun at you.

• Marketers are brilliant and probably evil. A lot of this conference aimed to get we the people (who paid to get in) to promote stuff. We gathered loads of branded swag (including a Rubik’s Cube and a crown!) and were constantly being asked to tap into social media and share our pop culture happiness with the universe. (This ploy might have worked better had any of us been able to access the Internet during the conference.)

I’m 41 and while I love my twitter (@thebatmom!), I’m also old enough to take what I want from a marketing frenzy and leave the rest. Some of the marketing was fun fun fun: Rene starred as the heroine in a mini-movie, and we got to bust out of the cover of a comic book.

Had I been a gamer, good lord. There must have been hundreds of gaming stations set up on the show floor offerings conventioneers first-shots at updates and new games. I wasn’t inspired to start playing, but I am inspired to rewatch Felicia Day’s funny funny gaming-centric web series The Guild.

• Speaking of brilliant, New York. I lived in Manhattan long ago, for a mostly unhappy year, but had forgotten how every last block offers up something if you’re willing to look: patterened blue and white tiling; golden art deco detailing; a thick, simply handsome wooden door.

• Let’s just keep running with brilliant: my friends.

I spent most of my time with Rene of StrangerInAFamiliarLand. We laughed a lot, especially when she yelled “areola” on a crowded bus, and enabled one another’s comic book-buying excesses.

We had dinner with three college friends; though my memory’s double-glazed with red wine and Benadryl, I think one asked not to be mentioned online, so I won’t. But I will suggest you go buy “Salvage,” and note the evening was such that I now miss all three of them.

Yesterday, I trotted uptown to walk a lovely dog with a lovely friend in October-lovely Central Park. Best of all, my lovely friend sent me home with a new read: Lilian Ross’s Here But Not Here.

Now I’m on the train home, staring at New England out my window and anticipating the sweet faces of my kids, who are still young enough to thrill at my return before asking “Whadja get me?”

I’ll play Santa with a swag bag and then get back to it.

Home. Home. Home.

* P.S. @frogandcode rocks.

* P.P.S. For the real nerds, I heard speak or grabbed signatures from (among others): Tony Akins, Raphael Albuquerque, Brian Azzarello, Greg Capullo, Bernard Chang, Cliff Chiang, Joshua Fialkov, Franco, Aaron Kuder, Scott Snyder, Bill Willingham. I didn’t buy a lot, but I picked up a few recommends from a helpful guy at Midtown Comics – Rising Stars, Saga, Locke & Key - and have a list from random folks who recommended mid-con.

Catwoman 11

COVERGIRL: Favorite cover. No boobs, all emotion and weary strength. She’s tired and she’s struggling, but she’s still tough enough to carry a grown woman in her arms.

The only thing I don’t like is the word “Dollhouse,” which brings to mind Joss Whedon’s short-lived flashes-of-brilliant “Dollhouse,” which brings to mind Joss Whedon’s short-lived all-over-brilliant “Firefly,” which makes me sad. Although that brings to mind Nathan Fillion, and that makes me happy. So thanks, cover people!

INSIDE STORY: Catwoman and her thieving/snogging sidekick Spark team up with Detective Alvarez to bring down the Big Bad who’s been kidnapping street kids and street walkers.

What we know that Catwoman doesn’t: The Big Bad is harvesting their organs and turning their corpses into dolls.

What we also know that Catwoman doesn’t: Spark is working with the dirty cops of Gotham to take Catwoman down. He’s also working to get inside her catsuit.

Much action follows, between Spark and Catwoman and on the mean streets of Gotham. By issue’s end, the Big Bad has tranquilized and kidnapped a slew of kids and hookers, plus one Detective Alvarez.

Catwoman sums it up: “I lost the ones I was trying to help. And the one who was helping me. Yeah, I screwed this up royally.”

RAMBLE: FavoriteCoverFavoriteIssue. The lame boob-ish pose on page one might have dampened my enthusiasm were it not for the wham-bamming action pulling me quickly forward through the book.

Catwoman and her comic book are at their best when moved by passion and empathy, and as we’re starting to learn in tiny narrative bits, Selina has reason to empathize with lost people like the street children and whores being grabbed from the streets.

She’s driven, and it’s not her usual flippant pluck, it’s a deep-seated, passionate determination. The personal tensions — between thieving Catwoman and good cop Alvarez, between lonelyhearts Catwoman and hottie traitorous Spark — bring the narrative excitement up a coupla notches.

As for the Big Bad: Creeping me out like no other comic book villain has to date. Shivering in my shorts.

Actually my husband’s shorts. Actually my husband’s boxer shorts. A snazzy orange-and-brown plaid. And while we’re talking boxer shorts, remember that brief spot in sartorial history when we women donned them? Round about 1989.

Why did we stop? These things are comfy.

There. Having digressed myself out of the shivers, I can end.

Who the Hell are These People?

Catwoman: Selina, a hooker-esque thief with a heart of pawn-shop gold and a weakness for the Batman

Detective Carlos Alvarez: Good cop amid a dirty slew in the Gotham PD; he knows they're dirty, and he's in the odd position of wanting to stop Catwoman's thieving ways and also to save her from the bad cops

Spark: Catwoman’s new thieving partner; he’s working with the dirty Gotham PD to capture Catwoman

What the Hell is Going on?

Catwoman is trying to save a slew of hookers and street kids being kidnapped by a freaky someone who kills them and turns them into corpse-y playthings. She’s also being pursued by a handful of dirty Gotham police officers because she stole their dirty money.

Spider-man > Avengers

The Amazing Spider-Man was no more or less clever or original than the much-lauded Avengers, but I liked it far better. Not because the story surprised me more, or the quips amused me more, or the cheesy bits melted my heart more, but because I cared about Peter Parker more than I cared about any of the characters in The Avengers.

The Avengers had kabooming action to spare, but little in the way of character development or personally focused story lines. These things were beside the point: The Avengers celebrates its superheroes super-ness; it’s not overly devoted to their alter-egos. Plus there are so many main characters, once you give each of them a few cool action sequences, five or six long stretches of chops-displaying dialogue, and a big old let’s-conquer-our-differences-and-work-as-a-team finale, you’re two hours in with, at most, a coupla Ironman quips to spare.

But aside from the opening Black Widow scene, which I appreciated as a signature Joss Whedon strong-woman moment, I barely remember the movie. I remember thinking the big Hulk reveal was far less of a big Hulk reveal than I expected (I mean, I’m angry most of the time too), and beyond that – some people zipping around some places and zapping some other people.

Spidey necessarily was going to give me more of the personal storyline it turns out I crave. (Why did I not know this about myself? Also, am I a gender stereotype here or what? Personal Drama > Heroics + Spectacle.) I knew the storyline, I’ve seen past Spideys, but I still enjoyed it, in large part because I appreciated Marc Webb’s/Andrew Garfield’s take on Peter Parker. I found him more empathetic/less clichéd than Tobey Maguire’s by-the-book, pushing-glasses-up-the-nose-bridge nerdly Peter Parker.

I liked Garfield start to finish, and I loved him in the scene where he discovers the full scope of his Spidey powers. Completely exhilarated, he swoops and glides and swings and climbs around a construction site. He seemed full of pure joy, and watching the scene filled me with the same.

I didn’t buy Jed Bartlett as Uncle Ben, though I liked the way Webb handled the relationship, which seemed slightly more believable and stronger than past Spideys. And who doesn’t love Gidget? Except Sally Field’s face has melted. She didn’t look old; she looked melted. I couldn’t figure out what was going on. Plastic surgery gone bad? Strange makeup? Instead of listening to her words, I found myself pondering her facial features.

The rest: solid. Denis Leary was Denis Leary, blond girl was blond girl, bad guy was 1950s’ sci-fi creature.

The intrigue surrounding Papa Parker may well be a step beyond solid. We’ll find out next time, as @harbordove and I learned when we saw the little teasey bit at the end. Thank you man-gaggle in the back of the theater; without your hyper-focus on the credits, we would have headed straight for the powder room and missed the Easter Egg.