COVERGIRL: Issue 2 and already I want Batman to clear out. He’s the strong guy, clutching Catwoman in an embrace; the only thing keeping her from falling into the bat-filled abyss. Or onto the Gotham streets below.
Maybe this is metaphor. Maybe her sexual Batsploits are all that keep Catwoman sane. Maybe she needs hot latex sex to recharge and steal. Or fight badder guys than her. Or whatever it is she does.
INSIDE STORY: Issue #2 finds Catwoman setting up two rival Russian mafia gangs to battle over the painting she stole in issue #1. The meet-up will go down at a party hosted by none other than Bruce Wayne. Catwoman has no idea that Bruce is Bat, but Bruce recognizes incognito Catwoman, probably because she’s wearing next to nothing on top and he recognizes her bijongas.
Wayne tries to lure her away from the party, but Catwoman has work to do. Using a cleverly timed firecracker pop, she starts a gunfight during which woman-bashing Renald dies. As the bullets fly, she slinks away with the painting.
Sadness awaits at Lola’s pad; Lola is dead. Bloody, bullet-headed, ding-dong-dead. Catwoman grieves for 34 seconds, then suffers repeated blows at the hands of the skullheads from issue 1. The final panel features a sharp-dressed skullhead wearing a tie marked with a B, the font of which reminds of Buffy.
Skullhead’s name is Louis Ferryman (Charon reference?), but you can call him Bone.
RAMBLE PLUS A BONUS READ:
My husband bought me Catwoman: Guardian of Gotham Part I. It’s a two-issue book with a great concept: Doug Moench, Jim Balent and Kim DeMulder flip the Batman/Catwoman mythologies, so Catwoman is the lonely orphaned manor-dwelling crime fighter and Batman is the evil thieving sexy creature of the night, with whom heroic Catwoman can dally but never fully connect.
I won’t dwell on the story. While I loved the concept and basic storyline, I wasn’t particularly pulled in by any of the characters and I was so turned off by the ridiculous clothing and poses of both Catwoman and her Alfred, here a bodacious woman named Brooks (to the right), that I almost threw the thing aside.
However, I have come to accept that her sexuality is inherent to Catwoman’s being and it’s a very frank, explicit kind of sexuality. I think, in the minds of her many creators, Catwoman can’t help herself. Batman is her catnip. And historically she is, to some extent, an object created for Batman.
Perhaps that can change in 2012? Perhaps the New 52 Catwoman will be more like an actual cat and not give a flip what anyone else thinks.
From here on out, I will give the New 52 Catwoman a pass. She can act like a pole-dancer and I will try to avoid too much critique of her lame stripper posing. But I will also hope that she takes charge. Despite too much attention devoted to her boobs and her interlude with the Bat, the Catwoman-on-top dynamic was in play in Catwoman #1 – Batman fell helpless into her arms, not vice versa - and I hope it continues.
The cover of #2 would indicate otherwise. So would the first few panels, in which Catwoman says Batman hates himself for sleeping with her, and she seems to bring that feeling out in people.
That’s just sad. The moping is more dog than cat. My cats could care less who hates them as long as they get fed. They love me, but it is all on their terms.
Better than issue #1 for lack of prolonged bat-sex, but I need Catwoman to step up her game next time. Thus far she reads like a clever, sexy trickster who will ultimately need a big guy to save her. I’m willing her to save herself.
Who the Hell are These People?
Catwoman: Selina, a hooker-esque thief with a heart of pawn-shop gold and a weakness for the Batman
The Batman: The Batman, alter ego Bruce Wayne
Lola: Catwoman’s fence and only friend
Renald: Member of the Russian mafia
What the Hell is Going On?
Catwoman stole a painting that everybody in the Russian mafia wants. Also, she and Batman have sex but not a relationship.