INSIDE STORY: Exposition City plus a whole lot of (too much of) Superman and Supergirl fighting. Rather, Supergirl trying to smash Superman and Superman trying to talk between smashings.
But first, a flashback: Three days before Supergirl #1 begins, Supergirl is babysitting her tiny cousin Kal-El.
Wait just a honkin’ minute, you SuperFans declare. Kal-El is Superman! And we just saw Superman on the cover getting his clocked cleaned!
Yes indeed, the universe is undertaking some fancy temporal footwork.
Also Supergirl is wearing skin-tight formal wear to babysit, which doesn’t ring true. Anyone who has ever babysat knows you wear stretchy clothes so you can eat all your employers’ snack food.
So the Man of Steel and the Girl of, presumably, Steel fight a lot and talk a lot.
They sound like this: KRAKK. BOOM. WHOOOOOSH. And my favorite, SHKOOOOOOM. Which I’m going to say next time I trip in public.
We learn this: Supergirl is Kara Zor-El from Argo City on Krypton. Superman, aka Kal-El, is her cousin, though she doesn’t believe it in part because he’s the wrong age, and in part because his speech sounds like Ye Olde Krypton. Actually, Superman tells Supergirl, all of Krypton is now Ye Olde Krypton, because Krypton is gone.
Interspersed with Supergirl and Superman fighting and nearly flattening an Asian village are scenes of the metal guys from issue #1, who are really just regular guys wearing metal guy costumes. They reveal that Supergirl, while of interest, is not the primary target of their mission. We are led to believe, by story’s end, that the primary target is a red crystal, which I take to be red kryptonite though I’m wrong a lot.
RAMBLE: I got not much at all. I was slightly bored but still interested. I’d like a little less smacking around and a little more story next time, please.
WHO THE HELL ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Supergirl/Kara Zor-El: Recently arrived to earth from her home planet, Krypton. Older cousin of Superman.
Metal Guys: Mysterious soldiers who seek a red crystal and, secondarily, Supergirl.